Beemers, Condos, and Yachts

As a big fan of Warren Zevon, I love his song, "Lawyers, Guns and Money," among many others. He inspired me to write my own poem about lawyers, but similar poems could easily be written about other professionals.

Beemers, Condos, and Yachts

My neighbor got a lawyer, and

He told me he would sue,

But I did nothing wrong, and so

I got a lawyer, too.

My lawyer got a hearing, and

The judge dismissed the case.

My lawyer's got a Beemer now

Parked right out front his place.

Somebody stole my money, and

My lawyer made him pay.

I never saw a nickel, but

His yacht now sails the bay.

My lawyer sails his yacht around,

But never goes to sea.

To show me his esteem and thanks

He named it after me.

I got myself in trouble once,

And ended up in jail.

My lawyer took my case so he

Could send his kid to Yale.

He got for me probation, and

A formal reprimand.

I sold my house to pay him, now

His condo's on the Strand.

I lost my job the other day.

My wife left with the kids.

I'm living in a shelter, so

I guess I've hit the skids.

When thinking of my lawyer now

I have some evil thoughts,

Just knowing that my money went

For condos, cars, and yachts.

John M. Campbell

2001

Click here for my previous poem, A Bit of Tomfoolery