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  • John M. Campbell

The Proposal Consultant

This poem stars Jim Fain, an ex-Air Force general whom Northrop Grumman hired to help us win a program important to the survival of our segment of the company. Jim was a very smart, very profane individual with an ego to match who rubbed many people the wrong way. But I learned if you ignored the profanity and listened to the message, he offered insights that improved our proposal. Our proposal won the competition. This poem is how I imagined Jim felt about the whole process and its outcome.


The Proposal Consultant


I’ve got one thing to do today

To make my day complete.

I’ve got to do a circle chirp,

And then I hit the street.


I’ve got two things to do today

Before I’ve had my fill.

A circle chirp and cluster strut,

Then I can send the bill.


I’ve got three things to do today,

Then I can call it done:

A circle with some turkey butts,

A cluster with some puppy pukes,

A session with some sassy boys,

Then off to have some fun.


I’ve got my iced tea tankard;

My insulin is good.

These boys had best be ready:

They’re headed to my ’hood.


I’ve circled, clustered, jerked these mutts:

It’s been a freakin’ show.

They very nearly drove me nuts:

It’s time for me to go.


But once this thing’s awarded,

The contract’s in the tank,

They better well remember

It’s me they’ve got to thank.


John M. Campbell

26 January 2013


Click here for my previous poem, "Beemers, Condos, and Yachts"

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