top of page
  • John M. Campbell

The Proposal Consultant

This poem stars Jim Fain, an ex-Air Force general whom Northrop Grumman hired to help us win a program important to the survival of our segment of the company. Jim was a very smart, very profane individual with an ego to match who rubbed many people the wrong way. But I learned if you ignored the profanity and listened to the message, he offered insights that improved our proposal. Our proposal won the competition. This poem is how I imagined Jim felt about the whole process and its outcome.

The Proposal Consultant

I’ve got one thing to do today

To make my day complete.

I’ve got to do a circle chirp,

And then I hit the street.

I’ve got two things to do today

Before I’ve had my fill.

A circle chirp and cluster strut,

Then I can send the bill.

I’ve got three things to do today,

Then I can call it done:

A circle with some turkey butts,

A cluster with some puppy pukes,

A session with some sassy boys,

Then off to have some fun.

I’ve got my iced tea tankard;

My insulin is good.

These boys had best be ready:

They’re headed to my ’hood.

I’ve circled, clustered, jerked these mutts:

It’s been a freakin’ show.

They very nearly drove me nuts:

It’s time for me to go.

But once this thing’s awarded,

The contract’s in the tank,

They better well remember

It’s me they’ve got to thank.

John M. Campbell

26 January 2013

Click here for my previous poem, "Beemers, Condos, and Yachts"

41 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

The Royal Bureaucrat

I spent nine months in England, first helping write a proposal for new work, and later helping program manager Steve Hertz start up the new project. Initially, we shared an office until we opened up n

The Cat Herdsman

Dave Harsch was the Phoenix program manager who was in charge of coordinating the efforts of several contractors to deliver an integrated update to our customer's system. As the title of this post sug

There's Something About Theresa

Theresa Covotsos was a test engineer on the TDS project. The TDS software was developed in an east coast division of our company and delivered to the customer site where we operated it. Before we inst


bottom of page